


Memento Mori

by Davechicken



Series: Kylux - Fluff & Angst [4]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Peril
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-06
Updated: 2016-08-06
Packaged: 2018-07-29 17:47:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7693705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davechicken/pseuds/Davechicken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A mission goes wrong, and puts Hux in danger.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memento Mori

People mistake efficient delegation for defencelessness. It isn’t. It’s using the right tool for the right job, at the right time. Not using the droid capable of lifting fifteen tonnes to direct staff into lines for their medicals, but using it where it’s best suited: in the mechanical engineering department.

Hux has the kind of mind that can see the workstreams and flows and processes and immediately make decisions regarding quick wins and preventative measures. It’s just how he thinks. 

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t know how to _make do and mend_. It’s just that he spends so long making it redundant or unlikely. He didn’t grow up like _some_ people with a shoestring and an unhealthy obsession with patching old and broken things into something only _mostly_ functional. Yes, he works on the foundations of the old Empire, but he’s _refined_ things from there.

Anything legacy that remains does so because it’s the best possible option, not out of any ridiculous _sentiment_.

His most effective position is on his flagship, but he can do much of his work remotely at a push. Their network is secure enough for that, though he’d still prefer the face-to-face element for some aspects of his management. Most duties _off_ the ship don’t need the General, and he delegates accordingly.

This is all common sense.

Sometimes, though, an uppity contact will _demand_ they meet him, and he can’t allow them onboard his ship. (These are people whose trustworthiness has not been vetted and verified sufficiently.) And sometimes - no matter the planning and preparation - something will go piss poor. It’s sadly impossible to factor everything in.

Especially Human error. No matter how stupid you plan for people to be, they can go one worse.

Which is why he’s examining the cut to his temple in the shattered transparisteel on the ground. Their shuttle was shot down on their departure, and Hux let the troopers do their best to whittle down their attackers until there were no troopers left. That was when he slipped into the shuttle’s co-pilot seat (pulling the almost-decapitated former co-pilot out of the seat) and manned the failing engines at precisely the time the bulk of the enemy forces tried to board. Thus burning them into a melting mess of disgustingly pungent, steaming, smoking goop. 

The next lot were taken out with his pistol, and then an assault blaster, and then - the last one - with a vibroblade to the throat. 

Hux did not take prisoners unless he had a reason to suspect they either a) knew something or b) would be a good bargaining chip. These were all mooks, and therefore pointless. He dispatched them accordingly.

And now he’s looking at his reflection to check the cut isn’t too deep (adrenaline and Bacta go a long way to covering over injury pain, but not really shock), well aware of his surroundings. Well aware that the Upsilon landing barely a hangar’s breadth away holds backup.

Well aware that it’s not needed, other than to remove him from this flightless ship. He would quite like to get his wound bathed and dressed properly, to ensure it doesn’t scar. Also, because he wants to plan a counter-attack; this kind of aggression can’t go unchecked. In fact, he plans on _destroying_ the people responsible. Hopefully in many, many horrible and efficient ways. 

It’s… touching? Or it should be? That Kylo is the first person off his ship, for once. Normally the Knight makes sure his craft comes in at a delay - when the opponents are already disheartened - crushing them under his black-winged bird. He doesn’t even disembark first, by habit, either. 

This time, though, Kylo charges out with his saber hilt in hand, fury his mantle and rage his aspect and blah, blah, blah. 

The battle - if you can call it that - is long since over.

“Are you hurt?” Kylo asks, showing a disturbingly public level of affection. Which they haven’t decided is fine.  


He wasn’t consulted.

“Do I look anything but?”  


“I came as soon as I heard…” Kylo’s forward momentum checks, the overgrown beast swaying in confusion. “…where are your troops?”  


“Look around,” he says, and gestures. “I’m the only one standing.” As ever, he adds, internally.  


Not that he’s smug. It’s not smug when it’s deserved, it’s… accomplished. He’s also tired, and would like to go home. He likes his ship, it feels… _known_. Familiar, like boots worn in. Comfortable inside, formal outside. 

Ren is staring at him, from under the mask. He’s het up, dressed for a battle with no one to dance with. Well, if he’d wanted a fight, he should have come much sooner. Then Hux could have watched his sleek-jagged combat style and form. 

“Are you–”

“I’m fine. Shall we leave?” It is not a question.

Kylo nods, and Hux follows him back to the command shuttle. They go to the small bridge-cum-cockpit together, and fly back to the _Finalizer_.

***

Kylo does not speak about it until they’re alone, and he’s grateful for that small mercy. Especially as he knows how upset the Knight is, over something really not of consequence at all.

“I could have _lost you_ ,” Kylo says.

“You could lose me to a freak accident in the ‘fresher, you know.”

“Hux that’s… _fuck_. Why are you being like this?”  


“You mean: logical?” He shrugs. “You knew what I was like when we started this.”  


“Yes, and you’ve pointed out my _own_ flaws often enough. Can’t you just… can’t you just listen, for once?”  


Well. On the surface, it sounds fair. He turns his head slightly, eyes narrowing. “Go on.”

“I… you need to be careful, okay? You’re… a high priority target. And I… _fuck_. Why can’t you just…”  


“Read minds?” he asks, tongue so firmly in his cheek it would look like he’s mimicking blowing the man, if it was the literal truth.   


“I - you - **fuck** , I hate you sometimes!”  


But it isn’t hate, is it? If he hated him, he wouldn’t keep trying to swaddle and protect him. Coming from the human trainwreck that is Kylo Ren… it means something. It means quite a few somethings, and maybe… maybe he should be more gracious.

Hux puts his hand on Kylo’s knee. “I’m not a helpless little infant, you know. I do have _some_ survival instinct and skills. But… if it makes you feel better… I will endeavour to be more careful in future.”

Kylo closes his eyes, head shaking. His mask is off, here in the General’s rooms. “You don’t get it, do you?”

“ _Enlighten me_ ,” Hux challenges.  


Kylo grabs his shirt, pulling him in for a kiss. It’s like they are: rough and conveying more through action than through words, desperate and private, messy and bordering on painful. Hux sometimes hates how Kylo makes him feel, but he hasn’t stopped him yet. 

Hux allows it, allows the nip of teeth and the shove of tongue. His hand tightens on Kylo’s knee, but that’s all. He can feel - through the Force? Or just… through… empathy? - the fear in the other man, and whilst he hadn’t truly feared for his life when he’d been in the middle of fighting for it, now it kind of… hits? A bit. And he doesn’t want to admit that it’s shaken him, but what man likes being faced with their own mortality?

The taller man breaks the kiss, his eyes swimming. “I can’t lose you,” he says, and he sounds like admitting it is the worst thing ever.

They don’t talk about their feelings much. He’s sure Kylo would, but Hux doesn’t like putting words to those impulses. He’s a man of action, more so even than Kylo is, and…

“You won’t,” he promises, even though he knows the assertion is, at best, two thirds likely.  


He will die, Kylo will die, or they will die together. That’s if they stay together. Those are not the best odds, but one in three chance of surviving Hux to mourn him is better than fifty fifty, and now they’re… together? Now they’re together, it’s gotten past the point of it not mattering.

It matters, now. And Hux does not want to die.

Fingers move into his hair, and he allows the Knight to pull him in to his shoulder. His arms go around him, and he tries to force the morbid thoughts gone, but it’s so very, very hard some days. 

“Come to bed,” Kylo begs. “Please.”  


If he spends his life remembering his death, he’s already half there, isn’t he? Hux nods. He wants something to live _for_ , and to feel alive while he has it. Increasingly that’s tied up with this one person, and it’s a single point of failure, but his heart hasn’t listened to reason.

Kylo. He makes him feel alive. 

“Yes,” he says, against his ear. “Remind me.” Please.  


Chase the thoughts of death away. Hux takes the offered hand, and follows him to bed. 

_He doesn’t want to die._

_He doesn’t want Kylo to die, either._

He’ll just have to fight **harder**.


End file.
